Saturday, June 12, 2010

Chocolate and Blogging, Good for the soul.

So as I poor my heart out into the internet and eat a bowl of chocolate ice cream, I realize that it helps my confusion and frustration disappear. It removes outside distractions and problems, and I can just... write. I can focus and actually solve my problems rather than just lying there thinking.
One is very cuntented.

The million things rushing about my head slowly stop spinning and start to make sense instead of giving me a head ache, but today it was so bad that I literally had to mentally collect myself before I even started writing. Why can I open myself up to everyone in the world, but I can't open it up to the people in my life I care about?
Herzen und K├╝ssen
Why am I more willing to trust strangers than my best friends? Have my relationships turned that bad that I can't trust anyone? At least my headache is clearing up. That shows that blogging (or maybe it was the chocolate ice cream) does help.
i told you to be patient, i told you to be kind.
Yet when I go back to the world, the REAL world. It just pushes me to the point of tears. Tears freely falling at this point. Why is it so hard? Why does the world insist on pushing against me? This is what I'm supposed to be doing right? Right?! I just don't understand.
I need an escape. An escape from all this shit(I've alloted 5 cuss words for this blog, because I really don't like doing it, but sometimes I can't help it.) that's happening. I need a break from this lonliness thats consumed me for far too long.

1 comment:

    I easily trust someone I don't know, but RARELY trust my own friends... and it's because I've been taken for joyrides all too often. Hence why I wrote the poem i posted today!!!!
    I can understand what you're saying coz I feel that too