Sunday, November 28, 2010
"He Ate My Heart Then He Ate My Brain"
Secret No. 5: I hope you think of me sometimes, or I'd feel pathetic thinking about you all the time.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Too much, too soon.
So I'd really just like to apologize for my Headfirst into Heartbreak post. The emotions were real, the writing was BAD. It's just I miss my bloggy poo poo. This break has allowed me to blog again, and I'm really glad for it.
It's the fact that I don't have time to blog when I really need to that frustrates me. My head's spinning, this year is flying by and frankly I don't like it. It really just needs to slow down.
Peace out Girl Scout.
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It's the fact that I don't have time to blog when I really need to that frustrates me. My head's spinning, this year is flying by and frankly I don't like it. It really just needs to slow down.
Peace out Girl Scout.
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"This is my Heart, it's not a Toy"
Secret No. 3: Maybe you're not as perfect as I thought you were. Maybe, just maybe, I'm not as perfect as I think I am either.
Diving Headfirst into Heartbreak
Headfirst. I'm falling headfirst and this time, there's no stopping it. My mind is 90% focused on him, and honestly it shouldn't be. I suck at this. I really do.
Does he like me? Is this flirting? How do we not get bored after talking for an hour? What does that mean though? My relationship experience is VERY limited. I know, its sad.
So the other day he said, "Please don't kill yourself next year." Chill guys, I'm not going to kill myself. He just was telling me not to overload myself (which I tend to do very often).
I'm just confused. I just want to know I can leap and you'll be there to catch me, but I'm not very good at leaping. I might need a push.
Peace out Girl Scout
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Does he like me? Is this flirting? How do we not get bored after talking for an hour? What does that mean though? My relationship experience is VERY limited. I know, its sad.
So the other day he said, "Please don't kill yourself next year." Chill guys, I'm not going to kill myself. He just was telling me not to overload myself (which I tend to do very often).
I'm just confused. I just want to know I can leap and you'll be there to catch me, but I'm not very good at leaping. I might need a push.
Peace out Girl Scout
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Friday, November 26, 2010
"I Saw Your Face in a Crowded Place"
Secret No. 2: I only bought this jacket because it reminds me of the one you have.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
To Be Thankful
Maybe everyday should be Thanksgiving day, because in reality, we should be thankful for so much.
I have a bed to sleep in, food to eat, clothes to put on my back, friends that make me laugh until I cry, family like no other, and what do I always do? complain. I promise you I complain more than anyone else on the planet, but honestly I have nothing to complain about.
There are seriously kids in Africa who have been TAKEN from their homes, forced to KILL their parents, taught how to VIOLENTLY MURDER their peers, and are exposed to DEATH more than I will ever have seen. Yet, I still complain.
Those kids, those sweet Ugandan kids, are honestly more thankful than I am. They're thankful for their single blanket, their sip of water, their shack, their brothers and sisters that aren't dead.
Yet I'm not thankful for my laptop, my computer, my freewill, and I need to fix this. Now. As I sat around talking with my family at thanksgiving lunch, about nothing real important, I realized, I've got it pretty good. No more complaining, no more whining, no more "I want this, I want that," but more "wow, I'm glad I have this, and man I'm sure lucky,"
Happy Thanksgiving
xoxo
Tansy
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I have a bed to sleep in, food to eat, clothes to put on my back, friends that make me laugh until I cry, family like no other, and what do I always do? complain. I promise you I complain more than anyone else on the planet, but honestly I have nothing to complain about.
There are seriously kids in Africa who have been TAKEN from their homes, forced to KILL their parents, taught how to VIOLENTLY MURDER their peers, and are exposed to DEATH more than I will ever have seen. Yet, I still complain.
Those kids, those sweet Ugandan kids, are honestly more thankful than I am. They're thankful for their single blanket, their sip of water, their shack, their brothers and sisters that aren't dead.
Yet I'm not thankful for my laptop, my computer, my freewill, and I need to fix this. Now. As I sat around talking with my family at thanksgiving lunch, about nothing real important, I realized, I've got it pretty good. No more complaining, no more whining, no more "I want this, I want that," but more "wow, I'm glad I have this, and man I'm sure lucky,"
Happy Thanksgiving
xoxo
Tansy
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Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Its Hard Being the "Good Girl"
So, most people know at my school, I'm not a bad kid. Its a fact. I literally shy away from "bad" stuff. I'm absolutely clueless when it comes to getting drunk and high. The fact of the matter is, I'm a goody two-shoes, and I'm okay with that.
Its just, if you've ever been in high school, you know about peer pressure. Unless you were like magically gifted and have friends that never do anything bad. Well I'm not so lucky to have that pleasure.
I've had this blog post started for days now, and I just don't understand how to finish it. I guess I just want to explain my decisions. Its not like I hate people who chose to go out and get drunk Saturday night, then regret it all on Sunday. Its just, thats not my choice. It doesn't make you cooler than me, all it does is makes you drunk.
Its just. I don't need to get drunk to have fun. People get drunk, and do things people normally wouldn't do if sober, and "have fun," but obviously I'm not like that. I do things that people wouldn't do normally on an everyday basis, and I have fun. All the time. I don't need a beer or a joint to do something stupid.
If I'm going to make an ass out of my self, I'm going to do it when I'm sober, not when I'm not going to remember it the next day. If I have something to say, I'm going to say it anyway, it doesn't matter what it is.
Maybe people get drunk because they just aren't as okay with themselves as I am. Maybe they use getting drunk as their excuse to act stupid. I have the courage to live my life, as I want to live it.I live life drunk. I get drunk off of life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. That's why I'm straight-edge, and nothing is going to change that. Try all you might peers, but your pressuring me just might make me cut you, cause I'm a sharp, straight-edge.
Peace Out Girl Scout.
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Its just, if you've ever been in high school, you know about peer pressure. Unless you were like magically gifted and have friends that never do anything bad. Well I'm not so lucky to have that pleasure.
I've had this blog post started for days now, and I just don't understand how to finish it. I guess I just want to explain my decisions. Its not like I hate people who chose to go out and get drunk Saturday night, then regret it all on Sunday. Its just, thats not my choice. It doesn't make you cooler than me, all it does is makes you drunk.
Its just. I don't need to get drunk to have fun. People get drunk, and do things people normally wouldn't do if sober, and "have fun," but obviously I'm not like that. I do things that people wouldn't do normally on an everyday basis, and I have fun. All the time. I don't need a beer or a joint to do something stupid.
If I'm going to make an ass out of my self, I'm going to do it when I'm sober, not when I'm not going to remember it the next day. If I have something to say, I'm going to say it anyway, it doesn't matter what it is.
Maybe people get drunk because they just aren't as okay with themselves as I am. Maybe they use getting drunk as their excuse to act stupid. I have the courage to live my life, as I want to live it.I live life drunk. I get drunk off of life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. That's why I'm straight-edge, and nothing is going to change that. Try all you might peers, but your pressuring me just might make me cut you, cause I'm a sharp, straight-edge.
Peace Out Girl Scout.
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Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Geek Out Moment
So if you're a Harry Potter Fan, This is your post.
I'm obcessed. I'm a nerd. I love Harry Freaking Potter!
Going to the midnight showing.
So pumped.
Peace. and Long Live Dumbledore!
xo
Tansy
I'm obcessed. I'm a nerd. I love Harry Freaking Potter!
Going to the midnight showing.
So pumped.
Peace. and Long Live Dumbledore!
xo
Tansy
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Leftovers.
So a while back I became acquainted with a pleasant young fellow. To be frank I was quite smitten with him. We talked and conversed quite regularly. It wasn't until like a month ago, he liked me to, but I ruined it.
For about a month I've just been head over heels for him, and it just wasn't working, until tonight I didn't realize that what happened happened, and its not going to happen again.
Though it would be nice to have a relationship, I don't have the time. With college apps taking up most of my time, SAT study time, ACT study time, and normal AP study time. I'm bogged down.
I've learned I need to live for the moment. Live for today, and have no regrets. I enjoyed the time I spent with him, but it ended. I regret nothing.
Living on the edge doesn't mean taking risks, it means living knowing that tomorrow might not come, and being okay with that. I've learned that I don't need some guy to be happy. I need to just LIVE.
Besides, come May, we'd have to break it off any way, and I don't want to have to go through that. Meanwhile there are other relationships that I'd like to work on. Like the one with the all mighty God. I've been so busy I've left Him at the wayside and I'm giving Him my left over time. He deserves ALL my time, not just the left overs.
Peace Out Girl Scout.
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For about a month I've just been head over heels for him, and it just wasn't working, until tonight I didn't realize that what happened happened, and its not going to happen again.
Though it would be nice to have a relationship, I don't have the time. With college apps taking up most of my time, SAT study time, ACT study time, and normal AP study time. I'm bogged down.
I've learned I need to live for the moment. Live for today, and have no regrets. I enjoyed the time I spent with him, but it ended. I regret nothing.
Living on the edge doesn't mean taking risks, it means living knowing that tomorrow might not come, and being okay with that. I've learned that I don't need some guy to be happy. I need to just LIVE.
Besides, come May, we'd have to break it off any way, and I don't want to have to go through that. Meanwhile there are other relationships that I'd like to work on. Like the one with the all mighty God. I've been so busy I've left Him at the wayside and I'm giving Him my left over time. He deserves ALL my time, not just the left overs.
Peace Out Girl Scout.
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Saturday, November 6, 2010
ME > YOU.
So the Sad new is, Letters to the Future as well as Top Ten Thursdays are canceled. This blog is for ME. Not YOU, and those things were for YOU not ME. Yeah, I'm self absorbed, because sometimes it is about Me, not often but sometimes it is and this blog is really for me.
For me and me only, if you're reading this it means that A.) you find yourself to be in the same can of worms as myself, B.) You like the pretty pictures I post, or C.) you sincerely care for my well being. And all of those reasons are GRAND, but this blog isn't for YOU its for ME.
And I'm okay with that. This blog is supposed to help me find out who I am as an individual, and I LOVE that you read my blog, I truly truly do, but if you didn't read it I wouldn't be upset. I really love having blogger friends and followers, but right now I just need to focus on ME not trying to please the whole internet.
Peace Out Girl Scout.
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For me and me only, if you're reading this it means that A.) you find yourself to be in the same can of worms as myself, B.) You like the pretty pictures I post, or C.) you sincerely care for my well being. And all of those reasons are GRAND, but this blog isn't for YOU its for ME.
And I'm okay with that. This blog is supposed to help me find out who I am as an individual, and I LOVE that you read my blog, I truly truly do, but if you didn't read it I wouldn't be upset. I really love having blogger friends and followers, but right now I just need to focus on ME not trying to please the whole internet.
Adiós
Peace Out Girl Scout.
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Monday, October 25, 2010
Mr. Opportunity knocked, and I slammed the door in his face.
So its been a while since I've actually wrote anything, and I'm sorry. Its just college applications and school have completely bogged me down, but none the less, I feel the need to blog.
You know Wren, well, I thought I was over him, and I hoped and prayed I would be, but I'm not. No matter what I do, and do you know what sucks. I'm pretty sure he liked me. Back way back before he thought I wasn't crazy.
I was looking at the emails we sent, and I realized, he DID like me, and I was too stupid to do anything about it. I just let it be.
UGH! Do you know how frustrated that makes me like Frustrated to the 10th power. I had a chance, and I sat there in my own little world and watched it pass me right on by. What am I going to do about it? Nothing, because thats what I do best.
AH, I was trying to fix it though, I really was and still am, but its not happening. Ah, and no one probably even cares. Lovely.
Peace out Girl Scout.
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You know Wren, well, I thought I was over him, and I hoped and prayed I would be, but I'm not. No matter what I do, and do you know what sucks. I'm pretty sure he liked me. Back way back before he thought I wasn't crazy.
I was looking at the emails we sent, and I realized, he DID like me, and I was too stupid to do anything about it. I just let it be.
UGH! Do you know how frustrated that makes me like Frustrated to the 10th power. I had a chance, and I sat there in my own little world and watched it pass me right on by. What am I going to do about it? Nothing, because thats what I do best.
AH, I was trying to fix it though, I really was and still am, but its not happening. Ah, and no one probably even cares. Lovely.
Peace out Girl Scout.
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Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Dear Future EX-Bestfriends
Dear Future Ex-Bestfriend,
You've probably done something pretty awful to me for you to be an EX. Thats kind of scary, and I hope that I didn't cause our EXness. You were probably a pretty awesome person. You had to be to be my BEST friend. I'm sorry if I was the reason for our EXness. EXness isn't fun.
Its probably awkward between us if we still see each other. Trust me. Its awkward for me too. I just hope that we both learned something from our friendship and I hope we both have fond memories of each other. I CERTAINLY hope it wasn't over a boy, and it won't be because I think I've gotten over that.
So.. this is where it ends. Either days, weeks, months or years of friendship gone. Is this the way it was supposed to be? I guess we'll never know.
Much, much, much love,
Tansy
Peace out Girl Scout.
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You've probably done something pretty awful to me for you to be an EX. Thats kind of scary, and I hope that I didn't cause our EXness. You were probably a pretty awesome person. You had to be to be my BEST friend. I'm sorry if I was the reason for our EXness. EXness isn't fun.
Its probably awkward between us if we still see each other. Trust me. Its awkward for me too. I just hope that we both learned something from our friendship and I hope we both have fond memories of each other. I CERTAINLY hope it wasn't over a boy, and it won't be because I think I've gotten over that.
So.. this is where it ends. Either days, weeks, months or years of friendship gone. Is this the way it was supposed to be? I guess we'll never know.
Much, much, much love,
Tansy
Peace out Girl Scout.
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Thursday, October 14, 2010
Top Ten Thursday - TV temptations
Its TOP TEN THURSDAY!!!! So I've been spending my afternoons right from 2:10 until 10:00 at night filling out college applications, and doing homework at what not, and I realized I have no time for TV any more, and I LOVE T.V, so here are my top ten T.V. shows that I miss watching.
1. Glee.
Love it, miss it, must buy season one and two on dvd.
2. America's Next Top Model
I love me some tyra banks:), nigel's pretty beast too.
3. Chuck
Tansy loves her some spy shows!
4. American Idol
I know it hasn't started yet, but I miss ryan and the gang, its just not the same with out Paula, Simon, and Randy though:(
5. LOST
I was a lost fan from the beginning and my heart breaks knowing it is no more:(
6. Gilmore Girls
One of the Greatest TV shows ever made.
7. Friends
It is and always will be "The Show"
8. House
I normally hate doctor shows, but house is the only exception.
9. Mad Men
Absolutely love it....
10. Pretty Little Liars
love the books, and its okay that the tv show doesn't go in the right order, but i can't wait for season 2!
What are your favorite tv shows you miss, or tv shows you watch right now! Email me at thesecretlifeoftansy@gmail.com or leave a comment.
Peace out Girl Scout
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1. Glee.
Love it, miss it, must buy season one and two on dvd.
2. America's Next Top Model
I love me some tyra banks:), nigel's pretty beast too.
3. Chuck
Tansy loves her some spy shows!
4. American Idol
I know it hasn't started yet, but I miss ryan and the gang, its just not the same with out Paula, Simon, and Randy though:(
5. LOST
I was a lost fan from the beginning and my heart breaks knowing it is no more:(
6. Gilmore Girls
One of the Greatest TV shows ever made.
7. Friends
It is and always will be "The Show"
8. House
I normally hate doctor shows, but house is the only exception.
9. Mad Men
Absolutely love it....
10. Pretty Little Liars
love the books, and its okay that the tv show doesn't go in the right order, but i can't wait for season 2!
What are your favorite tv shows you miss, or tv shows you watch right now! Email me at thesecretlifeoftansy@gmail.com or leave a comment.
Peace out Girl Scout
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Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Drama Mama & My First Guest Post :)
Y'all should definitely check out my guest blog post on The Musings of a Wannabe Star by Jessi Haish. It's an open letter to "haters", and its something different than I've done before. I really surprised myself. I think its just because of all this drama that's been happening, and I think I've just gotten over it. I'm ready to move on and have an awesome senior year, and I don't want friend drama right now.
I don't know if Top Ten Thursday's going to happen, I've got a big paper due on Friday that I haven't even started yet so.... Top Ten Thursday is canceled... :(
Peace out Girl Scout.
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I don't know if Top Ten Thursday's going to happen, I've got a big paper due on Friday that I haven't even started yet so.... Top Ten Thursday is canceled... :(
Peace out Girl Scout.
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Thursday, September 30, 2010
Scared Myself to Death -Top 10 Thursday
Alright guyses!!! Its time for *drum roll* TOP TEN THURSDAY!!!
So this week I've been dying to watch a scary movie, so here's my top ten scary movies!!!
1. Amityville Horror(the old one)
This terrified me as a kid!!!
2. The Ring
AHHHH! Like on the seventh day I was curled up in my mom's room holding like a pair of safety scissors only after I had turned around all the TV's in the house.
3. The Grudge
THAT CREEPY LITTLE BLUE BOY!!!!
4. The Grudge 2
What can I say, I just hate Asian scary movies, they FREAK ME OUT! oh and after looking at pictures for the grudge, I had to stop, I was starting to scare myself.
5. Exorcism of Emily Rose
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
6. Stay Alive
I still haven't played another video game.
7. 1408
It was just weird, but I liked it.
8. Poltergeist 3
Not one, Not two, but THREE! Scary as mess.
9. The Hills Have Eyes
I have a fear of driving on any deserted looking road because I picture the cannibals popping my tires and trying to eat me.
10. The Skeleton Key
I love me some creole voodoo! Love it love it love it!
Peace out Girl Scout.
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So this week I've been dying to watch a scary movie, so here's my top ten scary movies!!!
1. Amityville Horror(the old one)
This terrified me as a kid!!!
2. The Ring
AHHHH! Like on the seventh day I was curled up in my mom's room holding like a pair of safety scissors only after I had turned around all the TV's in the house.
3. The Grudge
THAT CREEPY LITTLE BLUE BOY!!!!
4. The Grudge 2
What can I say, I just hate Asian scary movies, they FREAK ME OUT! oh and after looking at pictures for the grudge, I had to stop, I was starting to scare myself.
5. Exorcism of Emily Rose
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
6. Stay Alive
I still haven't played another video game.
7. 1408
It was just weird, but I liked it.
8. Poltergeist 3
Not one, Not two, but THREE! Scary as mess.
9. The Hills Have Eyes
I have a fear of driving on any deserted looking road because I picture the cannibals popping my tires and trying to eat me.
10. The Skeleton Key
I love me some creole voodoo! Love it love it love it!
Peace out Girl Scout.
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Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Letters to the Future- College Roomie!
AH! So I forgot my letter to the future yesterday so here it is! OH! and don't forget about Top Ten Thursday Tomorrow! Who's pumped, because I am!
Dear Future College-Roommate,
I'm sorry. I have some clear issues. I'm OCD, and a complete slob at the same way. You ask how? Don't ask because I don't understand it myself, but I just am.
I'm also super excited to meet you, like I'm ready to have a new best friend, and YOU'RE IT! Well maybe not, but I hope we do become really good friends. I'm super excited to start my new awesome life with you, because let's face it, you're going to be the first person I meet.
I can't wait for all night study sessions, dance parties in our dorm, our first fire drill, our awesome decorating that WILL take place some time during the year. I can't wait for a lot of things. I hope you don't hate me. Really, because that would be terribly unfortunate. Well until then Peace and Blessings!
Much Love,
Tansy.
Peace out Girl Scout.
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Dear Future College-Roommate,
I'm sorry. I have some clear issues. I'm OCD, and a complete slob at the same way. You ask how? Don't ask because I don't understand it myself, but I just am.
I'm also super excited to meet you, like I'm ready to have a new best friend, and YOU'RE IT! Well maybe not, but I hope we do become really good friends. I'm super excited to start my new awesome life with you, because let's face it, you're going to be the first person I meet.
I can't wait for all night study sessions, dance parties in our dorm, our first fire drill, our awesome decorating that WILL take place some time during the year. I can't wait for a lot of things. I hope you don't hate me. Really, because that would be terribly unfortunate. Well until then Peace and Blessings!
Much Love,
Tansy.
Peace out Girl Scout.
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Thursday, September 23, 2010
AH! IDEA!!!
So after my last post I had an awesome idea!! Top Ten Thursday! I have a subject, tell you my top ten, then you would tell me and like your post on my post! Sound awesome?! I think so!!!
PEACE OUT GIRL SCOUT!
PEACE OUT GIRL SCOUT!
My mind's going places, i just wish my feet would follow.
I've come down with a terrible case of wander lust. Really, I'm so ready to just GO and experience the world first hand. If I had the funds available, and could speak a bunch of different languages, I would totally take a gap year before college to just GO. I don't know what it is, but my feet are ready to go.
It might be "small town syndrome" where after living in a place where everyone knows everyone, you're kinda ready to break loose. All I know for sure is that sometime before I die I will go to the following places. This is my Travel to Ten.
1. Australia/New Zealand.
-I admit it, its the accents:) no, but really, this is one of my top places to visit. Oh, and those cute kangaroos:)
2. Africa
- Not for the exotic animals or any of that, Its for the people. The people there is what I plan to travel there for, especially the impoverished.
3. England
-I'm a fool for a British accent. And just the history there, its incredible.
4. Ireland
-Why does everywhere, but America have awesome accents? Also I just really want to go see all the AMAZING castles.
5. NYC
-Broadway is a definate must, along with Time Square and Central Park. I HAVE to go here.
6. Paris, France
-Ah, the city of lights. I really just want to see the louvre, and the Eifel Tower, and the Arc de Triomphe, and well ahh, French accents:)
7. CALIFORNIA
- Sign me up on the next flight to LAX, California is the real sunshine state, sorry to disappoint you Florida.
8. Canada
-I really don't know why, but I just think Canada's pretty freakin' awesome.
9. Israel
- All that history and culture, AWESOME!
10. Rome, Italy
-Really I could just put all of Italy, but I really just want to go to Rome, what can I say I'm a history nut. I love Roman culture!
What's your top ten destinations?
Peace out Girl Scout.
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It might be "small town syndrome" where after living in a place where everyone knows everyone, you're kinda ready to break loose. All I know for sure is that sometime before I die I will go to the following places. This is my Travel to Ten.
1. Australia/New Zealand.
-I admit it, its the accents:) no, but really, this is one of my top places to visit. Oh, and those cute kangaroos:)
2. Africa
- Not for the exotic animals or any of that, Its for the people. The people there is what I plan to travel there for, especially the impoverished.
3. England
-I'm a fool for a British accent. And just the history there, its incredible.
4. Ireland
-Why does everywhere, but America have awesome accents? Also I just really want to go see all the AMAZING castles.
5. NYC
-Broadway is a definate must, along with Time Square and Central Park. I HAVE to go here.
6. Paris, France
-Ah, the city of lights. I really just want to see the louvre, and the Eifel Tower, and the Arc de Triomphe, and well ahh, French accents:)
7. CALIFORNIA
- Sign me up on the next flight to LAX, California is the real sunshine state, sorry to disappoint you Florida.
8. Canada
-I really don't know why, but I just think Canada's pretty freakin' awesome.
9. Israel
- All that history and culture, AWESOME!
10. Rome, Italy
-Really I could just put all of Italy, but I really just want to go to Rome, what can I say I'm a history nut. I love Roman culture!
What's your top ten destinations?
Peace out Girl Scout.
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