It was really nice to meet you, goodbye.

I don't like leaving. I don't like it. Not one bit. I hate that my friends are going to be scattered across the south, I hate that I never had with him what I wish I did. I hate becoming super close to someone this year, then leaving now. I hate graduation, I hate finding out other people are leaving. I can't stand hearing, "this is the last." 

I know I'm in denial. I scream and close my ears when anyone says something about leaving or graduation or college. I can't help it. I've known this place for all my life, I've known these people forever. How can I let them go?

I know that it's pretty ridiculous of me to say, that I have to let them go, because they're going whether I like it or not. I just hope they know how thankful I am to have them in my life. How grateful I truly am to have known them and to laugh, and cry, and sing, and dance, and explore, and create, and experience, with them. 

Maybe our stories don't end here, but it sure feels like it. I hope it doesn't, but if it has to I hope that every moment we spent all together will not be forgotten. I know it will be, and that's okay, what I really want all of us to remember is how much fun we had, and how we were each other's strong holds; that we were there for each other. 

This is my last blog post. It seems appropriate. I'm leaving high school behind, I want to leave the girl who all she cared about was whether she needed a boyfriend or not behind. I'll still pop in, look at my posts, reflect about who I was and who I was becoming. 

I guess you could say I found myself. It wasn't what I expected. I didn't find out what I wanted to be in life, I didn't find my social circle, but I found my potential. I learned I have something inside of me that's great. I learned that life isn't just what I see from my viewfinder. It's that I have to take away that blue plastic toy and learn that there is a whole world out there ready for me to experience.

I want to thank everyone who reads this. Who has supported me with kind words, who's put up with my mindless rants. I truly appreciate you. You've made an impact on my life, and I hope I've impacted yours too. 


Much much love,
Tansy.

Hang in there, I know we're doing this for a reason.

Dear Morals,

I love you. I really truly do, and I'm sorry I'm putting myself in these situations that you get quite a beating, but always end up kicking ass in the end. I mean how many people can stand by what they believe in getting picked on for two hours? Not many. 

I know that you're probably telling me to stop putting myself in these situations, but the truth is, I think God wants us in those situations. Though you probably hate me for letting those kids laugh at you, I know we're stronger than that. 

Maybe we'll have some sort of impact on their lives, and honestly I really hope we do. They don't have awesome morals like you, except for Sam, I think he respects us. Even if we don't change their lives, I hope they know we tried, and I'm proud of us for not giving in and giving up the fight. 

Love, 
Tansy.

Its Hard Being the "Good Girl"

So, most people know at my school, I'm not a bad kid. Its a fact. I literally shy away from "bad" stuff. I'm absolutely clueless when it comes to getting drunk and high. The fact of the matter is, I'm a goody two-shoes, and I'm okay with that. 

Its just, if you've ever been in high school, you know about peer pressure. Unless you were like magically gifted and have friends that never do anything bad. Well I'm not so lucky to have that pleasure. 

I've had this blog post started for days now, and I just don't understand how to finish it. I guess I just want to explain my decisions. Its not like I hate people who chose to go out and get drunk Saturday night, then regret it all on Sunday. Its just, thats not my choice. It doesn't make you cooler than me, all it does is makes you drunk.

Its just. I don't need to get drunk to have fun. People get drunk, and do things people normally wouldn't do if sober, and "have fun," but obviously I'm not like that. I do things that people wouldn't do normally on an everyday basis, and I have fun. All the time. I don't need a beer or a joint to do something stupid.

If I'm going to make an ass out of my self, I'm going to do it when I'm sober, not when I'm not going to remember it the next day. If I have something to say, I'm going to say it anyway, it doesn't matter what it is.

 Maybe people get drunk because they just aren't as okay with themselves as I am. Maybe they use getting drunk as their excuse to act stupid. I have the courage to live my life, as I want to live it.I live life drunk. I get drunk off of life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. That's why I'm straight-edge, and nothing is going to change that. Try all you might peers, but your pressuring me just might make me cut you, cause I'm a sharp, straight-edge.


Peace Out Girl Scout.
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To my secret follower.

So guys. I have a secret follower. A follower that is apparent on my dashboard, but not on my blog. This is a letter to that person.

Dear Secret Follower;

Why are you a secret? We're all friends on this blog. Don't be ashamed to read this blog. Please. Come out. I want to follow your blog. I love to read blogs its true. I read at least 5 every day. Don't you want me to read yours. I know you read mine, or else why would you follow it. Please come out and reveal yourself. I'm revealing myself through these posts. Please destroy the anonymity. It will be awesome! You can share your thoughts to me to!

Please come out of hiding!

Love,

Tansy S.

Really I love every ones blog. I read them like every day! Please share your encouragement with this anonymous follower!

Peace out Girl Scout.

I might as well be the cowardly lion.

So today is one of those days where one post isn't enough. While looking for pictures for one of my posts i stumbled upon a Madonna quote. "To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt."

By Gosh. Madonna has done it again.

So I have as much courage as courage the cowardly dog .I'm not brave. Nope. Never have been. But I do love someone unconditionally. Not expecting anything in return, but I can't tell them that. I can't leave myself out in the open. Busting out of my shell now is not an option. No way no how. Maybe End of senior year I'll tell him. Okay so Next may you guys have to make sure I tell ...who shall I call him...Wren*.

You are here by demanded to force me to tell him. Tell him what though? That I think of you every night. I wish you were here with me. I think you are the coolest most awesome person in the whole wide world? Would it change anything? Would me telling him I love him make a difference? Do I love him? URG!

I guess the point is, I'm not telling him anything anytime soon. Or well I might. Because the longer I like him the sooner my big mouth opens and I tell the whole world. I don't tell people who I like. I've gotten stabbed in the back one too many times to open up to anyone, but the longer I hold it in. The louder it sounds when it finally comes out.

Peace out Girl Scout

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*name has been changed.