Living my Life.

Life. Ah. Life. Something to be welcomed. Something to be thankful for. I'm going to take it day by day. Hour by hour. Minute by minute. Second by second.

I'm going to live my life to the fullest. Because Jesus said, "I came so that you may live, and live the best life possible." John 10:10. If thats the way its meant to be. Then thats what its going to be. I'm going to live my life for him and not for anyone else.

Peace out Girl Scout.

Day three- yippeee

Today is day three of Janel at Run With Scissors blogging I mean journal challenge!! Prompt three tells me to write a letter to someone I love.

Dear sweet sister Bayla,

My wonderful baby sister. I love you for all eternity. Don't grow up too fast. Be there for mommy. Boys are stupid. They'll give you cooties. Hold on to your childhood. Never say never. Call me every week once I'm gone. I'll miss you terribly. If you ever need me I'm always here for you.

You make me laugh, you inspire me, you get on my last nerve. You're the smartest eight year old I've ever met. You're truly talented. Let God guide you in all you do. Don't ever change who you are for someone else. Be who YOU want to be. I love you.

big sis.

ooops Journal post dos

I was so busy giving myself a pity party I forgot to Journalblog. So the second post from Janel's blog(run with scissors) is supposed to be your favorite part of my day.

I already posted my favorite times of the day. In one of my earlier posts. But here's an updated list.

I like blogging:)

Playing with my cat:)

Spending time with my sis:)

And night time:)

the end:)

Peace out Girl Scout

pictures

Playlist from the heart

So as you've probably read from the last post. I'm not in a very good happy joyful mood. "Feel Good" playlist;

1. Two is Better than One- Boys like Girls

I was singing this as I was making the "burst my bubble" post. I thought it felt appropriate.

2. Rest, Shame, Love- Augustana

I just love the sound of this song. Some lyrics hit me.

3. Northern Downpour- Panic at the Disco

The somewhat meaningless lyrics and the soft repetitiveness of it makes me smile.

4. Country Roads- John Denver

Reminds me of camp, and that I'll always have some place to come back to.

5. July Flame- Laura Veirs

Love the sound of it. "July Flame"

6. Hey Stephen- Taylor Swift

Yeah, good ole' classic love song. I love Taylor Swift:)

7. Kokomo- The Beach Boys

I remember me and my mom mopping the kitchen floor listening to her Beach Boys cassette. I always loved this song and it makes me smile with all the places.

8. Somewhere Only We Know-Keane

I just love the fantasy element. Its so soft and slow. One of my favorites.

9. M79- Vampire Weekend

I LOVE Vampire Weekend, love this song. Its so folksy:)

10. Keep Holding On- Avril Lavigne

Enough said.

Peace out Girl Scout.

pictures

Someone Please Burst my Bubble.

Oh my dear bloggy poo poo. How I've missed you so. Its been so long since I've wrote a really heart felt post, and I miss that. I really and truly miss that I haven't been pouring my heart into this. I knew I would do this. Sooner or later. Leave my blog. Slowly stop posting.

Slowly stop going to this place where I get in this bubble and don't come out. Inside that bubble I stay. I don't come out. I keep all my secrets to myself. I don't tell anyone how I'm feeling, and I don't talk to God. I hate that bubble.

That was the bubble I was in before I started this blog. And I will not. EVER go back into that bubble. I won't let myself. I don't want to go back to that horrible horrible place. I can't.

As my tears stream down my face I realize that the only person who did this was me. I let myself shrivel down to nothingness. You say "Tansy didn't anyone notice". Nope, they didn't, because I'm a damn good actress. No one could have possibly known.

I was the picture of happiness to everyone around me. If they did notice, they didn't care enough to help. I realize this now. I may have had fun in that bubble, but now its slowly starting to pop. I don't care either. I'm ready to be rid of it.

I think this is why I'm so obsessed with falling in love, because when I find love. I won't be alone anymore. I can talk to someone about how I feel, and how they make me feel better. Thats why I want love.

Peace out Girl Scout.

pictures

Journal Post One

So with some pressure from my blogger friend V I'm starting over my journal challenge except I'm making it a BLOGGING CHALLENGE. So The first day you are supposed to create a page introducing yourself. Well here it goes.

My name is Tansy S. I live in the United States. I live with my mom and little sister, Bayla. God is the most important thing in my life. I need to learn to listen to his calling for me. I'll be a senior in high school this school year. I love my friends. I'm intent on learning more about myself and what God has planned for my life.

The End.

So... There you go. I've introduced myself. What about you?

Peace out Girl Scout.

pictures

I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAck

Back from camp!! It was amazing! I met tons of awesome new people, and learned lots more about God and myself! Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to write any blog posts. So we'll start fresh tomorrow.

My blogger friend V has asked me to restart the Journaling challenge, but this time I'm just going to blog about the challenges. not journal them, because we all know how that turned out.... Well its good to be back!! I love you all!

Peace out Girl Scout

pictures

I just can't hide it!

I'm so excited! I leave for camp tomorrow! Camp Glisson here I come! Camp Glisson is one of my favorite places in the whole wide world! I'm so excited to meet my new cabin mates and living group! Well with all this excitement comes bad news, I won't be blogging for a week:(, but I'll be sure to write my blog posts in a journal to post when I get back!

Everybody always gets worked up about the no cell phone rule, but this is so helping my going dark goal. This is actually where I got the idea. Two summers ago we had a speaker who talked about teen age mutant ninja turtles but thats besides the point. Any way he gave up a whole summer by staying in a cabin in the middle of no where, much like Emerson Throeau . But what ever I'm just excited to get closer to God this week! Wish me luck! Good bye bloggers!

Peace out Girl Scout.

pictures

To my secret follower.

So guys. I have a secret follower. A follower that is apparent on my dashboard, but not on my blog. This is a letter to that person.

Dear Secret Follower;

Why are you a secret? We're all friends on this blog. Don't be ashamed to read this blog. Please. Come out. I want to follow your blog. I love to read blogs its true. I read at least 5 every day. Don't you want me to read yours. I know you read mine, or else why would you follow it. Please come out and reveal yourself. I'm revealing myself through these posts. Please destroy the anonymity. It will be awesome! You can share your thoughts to me to!

Please come out of hiding!

Love,

Tansy S.

Really I love every ones blog. I read them like every day! Please share your encouragement with this anonymous follower!

Peace out Girl Scout.

Will you be my best friend?

The more I think about it I realize I'm not looking for love. I'm looking for a best friend. A best friend who will always be there for me. A best friend that will love me for who I am. A best friend that is good looking, but a best friend who I can always count on.

I love my best friends. I let them know that. This is a special love. A special connection. Thats really what love is. You never can give it away too much, but you can keep it to yourself which might not be a good thing. I want a best friend. I best friend that will kiss me in the pouring rain. A best friend that will take me places and show me off.

I want to end up marrying my best friend. I want every thing we do together to be fun, to be a memory. This makes me realize that to marry my best friend I have to let people into my life. I'm a very introverted person. I need to open up to more people. I tend to turn people away. If I keep doing that I'll live to be an old maid with 30 cats.

I want someone to sweep me off my feet, but I want to know this person too. I don't want some random prince charming. I want someone I know. Someone I already care for. Someone who has been through it all with me. Someone who knows myself better than I do. That will be my best friend. Thats the person who I'll fall deeply and madly in love with.

Peace out Girl Scout.

pictures

Going Dark; Update 2

So its been really hard lately with no communication from the outside world. I've just been lazy. Today after work I was driving and saw my best friends together. It was very hard to see them having fun with out me. I don't like being left out.

I don't like not being in the loop, but I think its what's best for me right now. Its not that I don't want to hang out with my friends. I do. It hurts being left out. I guess its my fault, but it still hurts. Its like I'm on the outside looking in. Actually its more I'm inside looking out.

Peace out Girl Scout.

pictures

I heart ME

I love my blog. I truly do. I tailor it and brain storm sometimes even. I pour my heart and soul into this thing. So essentially, this blog is me. So Saying I love my blog, really means I love myself. So yeah. I'm concieted and I love myself.

I hate myself sometimes too, which means I hate this blog sometimes. It shows me at my weakest hardest moments in my life. I think its good though. I think its good for me to really remember these times. So I can learn from these experiences. Wow. I honestly didn't think I would even keep this up. I'm really proud of myself. I'm just feeling so happy with myself and who I'm becoming. Excitement :)

Peace out Girl Scout

pictures

Journal Fail, but Life A++

So I hate this journal thing. I fail at journaling. I can't do it. Nope. I hate my handwriting/doodling ablitites. So thats something I'm not good at. Which is closer than I was before to "finding myself". Progress, Progress my dance coach would say.

I think failing and passing is a part of life. You win some and you loose some. Its a part of life. Its a rising and a falling of the tides, but each time the tide rises and falls new sea shells and treasures are unhidden. The tides are controlled by the moon. A sort of higher energy.

My passes and fails are controlled by God, but shaped by my own free will. Life is about experiences, ultimately. Looking at life as it comes at you. Taking the good with the bad and learning to get on with life.

I just sort of had an "ah-ha" moment. I love those little thoughts when you realize its not about me. It was never about me. I love this. Seriously. I'm like pure mind bliss.

Peace out Girl Scout.

pictures

Half way there.

So June's over basically. Did I spend it how I wanted to? Did I spend it how God wanted me to? Summer's half way over and there's so much more I want to do. AH! My summer's moving by too quickly!

I'll be a senior this year.. GASP! Scary thought. I've got so many choices to make! I just want this to slow down!

A Dream is a Wish your Heart Makes.

So I hate sleeping. I never thought I would! I slept to two today. Yeah.. Well during that time I had several different dreams. Dream 1, gave me feelings for Wren back. AH! I thought I was over that! Any way. It was different, because we were friends, best friends, but there was more too it. I don't know it was just very strange. Its like we were best friend, but I think we were dating. I don't know. Strange.

Second dream, Glee related. It was VERY strange. Any way. Good dream, but very weird.

Third dream, I was in the navy, but it was a very weird navy. Well I wasn't in the navy. I was a visitor to the Navy, or more like a Navy psychological consultant. I had to help these two girls and some guy. Well it was about making snowflakes or something. It was very strange, but at the end I was marrying the guy. It was all just very strange.

Any way. Just thought you all would like to know this for some odd reason. It was all very strange. They were all connected some how too.

Peace out Girl Scout.

pictures

Prompt 2

Since its 12:18 technically its day two of the journal challenge!

My favorite times of the day are:

Playing with my kitty Tonks

Watching my little sister Bayla.

Me Time

Food Time

and

Night time

Here's Janel's prompt

Journal Prompt Number 2: What is the BEST part of your day?
Is it working out?
Is it "quitting time" at work?
Is it dinner with the fam?
What is it?
You can write about it, draw it, sketch it, doodle it, anything you like!

I want to see YOUR journal entries!!

Peace out Girl Scout!

Who I am.

So just kidding. Lets start now. Here's the first prompt. Above is my first entry. In the smaller words it says:

The mysteries of me is what i set out to seek. Where it will lead me I'll never know. Who I am will constantly change, yet i'll always be me. No one can change that. You see. Tansy will always be my name for thats who i was set out to be. I don't know who I am now. I'm looking for her. I truly am. what I'll find will change my life. This sounds weird I know. I'm a very weird person, but just watch now. I'll grow. Tansy is a type of flower. I'm ready to see what I'll look like when I bloom

Journal Prompt Number 1: Create a full page design introducing yourself :)
Highlight your name many times in the midst of your design.
I chose to use a lot of line design because I love it so much lately.
I also chose to draw some of the things that I like as well in there!!
Have fun, be creative, don't stress, just jump right in!!

This prompt is from Janel from run with scissors. Click Journal Prompt Number one to find Janel's blog.

Peace out Girl Scout.

p.s. I want to see YOUR journal pages too!

30 day journal challenge!!

So I've been inspired by Taylor to start the 30 day Journal Challenge. I always wanted to journal. I started this blog as a journal originally, but the words wouldn't flow. So now I'm copying my blog into a journal, but any way. I'll start the challenge soon, I just need a Journal... choices choices(before I decided to spell that with out an h). I know what pen I'll be using. Its my new favorite. Its a Choice hotels pen... yeah make fun. I love it though! :) I challenge you all to do the challenge with me. Everyone else is way far ahead. Lets start Next Monday. Kay? I"m getting all these prompts from Janel. So all the things will be hers and i'll put a picture up of my journal post that goes along with the prompt.

So get you a journal and a hotel pen and lets get ready to journal!

Peace out Girl Scout.

Thank you college board for making me seem stupid.

So College board told me to make a list of my abilities, preferences, and personal qualities. Well what is that supposed to mean? I apologize for spelling. My head is killing me.

Abilities:

None

Prefrences:

Don't understand the question

Personal Qualities:

huh?

the end. you are welcome college board.

Peace out Girl Scout.

Going Dark; Update 1

So as for going dark. I have. Well not completely. Since I've made this blog I haven't been using my normal email. And have created multiple social network accounts just for that email and for blogging purposes. I gave my phone to my loving mother to keep safe and hidden at her work. Yup. No contact from friends. They'll probably hate me by the end of the summer. If they really want to see me they can come by work.

As for what I do durring the day I embrace family. Me and my little sister have been having bunches of fun together when I'm not working at RT's. I really want to start getting into art some more. I dabble in pretty much everything and can't make up my mind.

So one of the purposes of this blog is to find out what I'm good at. I want to be a creative spirit. As selfish as this seems I want this summer to be about me. I don't want to surround myself with going to parties, getting invited to long weekend trips. I want to relax and enjoy MY summer. Its no one else's.

Peace out Girl Scout

pictures