Mr. Opportunity knocked, and I slammed the door in his face.

So its been a while since I've actually wrote anything, and I'm sorry. Its just college applications and school have completely bogged me down, but none the less, I feel the need to blog.

You know Wren, well, I thought I was over him, and I hoped and prayed I would be, but I'm not. No matter what I do, and do you know what sucks. I'm pretty sure he liked me. Back way back before he thought I wasn't crazy. 

I was looking at the emails we sent, and I realized, he DID like me, and I was too stupid to do anything about it. I just let it be.

UGH! Do you know how frustrated that makes me like Frustrated to the 10th power. I had a chance, and I sat there in my own little world and watched it pass me right on by. What am I going to do about it? Nothing, because thats what I do best.

AH, I was trying to fix it though, I really was and still am, but its not happening. Ah, and no one probably even cares. Lovely.


Peace out Girl Scout.
pictures

Dear Future EX-Bestfriends

Dear Future Ex-Bestfriend,


You've probably done something pretty awful to me for you to be an EX. Thats kind of scary, and I hope that I didn't cause our EXness. You were probably a pretty awesome person. You had to be to be my BEST friend. I'm sorry if I was the reason for our EXness. EXness isn't fun. 

Its probably awkward between us if we still see each other. Trust me. Its awkward for me too. I just hope that we both learned something from our friendship and I hope we both have fond memories of each other. I CERTAINLY hope it wasn't over a boy, and it won't be because I think I've gotten over that.

So.. this is where it ends. Either days, weeks, months or years of friendship gone. Is this the way it was supposed to be? I guess we'll never know.

Much, much, much love,
Tansy


Peace out Girl Scout.
pictures

Top Ten Thursday - TV temptations

Its TOP TEN THURSDAY!!!! So I've been spending my afternoons right from 2:10 until 10:00 at night filling out college applications, and doing homework at what not, and I realized I have no time for TV any more, and I LOVE T.V, so here are my top ten T.V. shows that I miss watching.

1. Glee.
Love it, miss it, must buy season one and two on dvd.
 

2. America's Next Top Model 
I love me some tyra banks:), nigel's pretty beast too.



3. Chuck
Tansy loves her some spy shows!



4. American Idol
I know it hasn't started yet, but I miss ryan and the gang, its just not the same with out Paula, Simon, and Randy though:(



5. LOST
I was a lost fan from the beginning and my heart breaks knowing it is no more:(



6. Gilmore Girls
One of the Greatest TV shows ever made.



7. Friends
It is and always will be "The Show"



8. House
I normally hate doctor shows, but house is the only exception.



9. Mad Men
Absolutely love it....



10. Pretty Little Liars
love the books, and its okay that the tv show doesn't go in the right order, but i can't wait for season 2!



What are your favorite tv shows you miss, or tv shows you watch right now! Email me at thesecretlifeoftansy@gmail.com or leave a comment.


Peace out Girl Scout
pictures

Drama Mama & My First Guest Post :)

Y'all should definitely check out my guest blog post on The Musings of a Wannabe Star by Jessi Haish. It's an open letter to "haters", and its something different than I've done before. I really surprised myself. I think its just because of all this drama that's been happening, and I think I've just gotten over it. I'm ready to move on and have an awesome senior year, and I don't want friend drama right now. 

I don't know if Top Ten Thursday's going to happen, I've got a big paper due on Friday that I haven't even started yet so.... Top Ten Thursday is canceled... :(


Peace out Girl Scout.
pictures

Scared Myself to Death -Top 10 Thursday

Alright guyses!!! Its time for *drum roll* TOP TEN THURSDAY!!!


So this week I've been dying to watch a scary movie, so here's my top ten scary movies!!!


1. Amityville Horror(the old one)

This terrified me as a kid!!!


2. The Ring

AHHHH! Like on the seventh day I was curled up in my mom's room holding like a pair of safety scissors only after I had turned around all the TV's in the house.


3. The Grudge

THAT CREEPY LITTLE BLUE BOY!!!!


4. The Grudge 2
What can I say, I just hate Asian scary movies, they FREAK ME OUT! oh and after looking at pictures for the grudge, I had to stop, I was starting to scare myself.


5. Exorcism of Emily Rose
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


6. Stay Alive
I still haven't played another video game.


7. 1408
It was just weird, but I liked it.


8. Poltergeist 3
Not one, Not two, but THREE! Scary as mess.


9. The Hills Have Eyes
I have a fear of driving on any deserted looking road because I picture the cannibals popping my tires and trying to eat me.


10. The Skeleton Key
I love me some creole voodoo! Love it love it love it!


Peace out Girl Scout.
pictures

Letters to the Future- College Roomie!

AH! So I forgot my letter to the future yesterday so here it is! OH! and don't forget about Top Ten Thursday Tomorrow! Who's pumped, because I am! 


Dear Future College-Roommate, 


I'm sorry. I have some clear issues. I'm OCD, and a complete slob at the same way. You ask how? Don't ask because I don't understand it myself, but I just am.

I'm also super excited to meet you, like I'm ready to have a new best friend, and YOU'RE IT! Well maybe not, but I hope we do become really good friends. I'm super excited to start my new awesome life with you, because let's face it, you're going to be the first person I meet. 

I can't wait for all night study sessions, dance parties in our dorm, our first fire drill, our awesome decorating that WILL take place some time during the year. I can't wait for a lot of things. I hope you don't hate me. Really, because that would be terribly unfortunate. Well until then Peace and Blessings! 


Much Love,
Tansy.


Peace out Girl Scout.
pictures

AH! IDEA!!!

So after my last post I had an awesome idea!! Top Ten Thursday! I have a subject, tell you my top ten, then you would tell me and like your post on my post! Sound awesome?! I think so!!!


PEACE OUT GIRL SCOUT!

My mind's going places, i just wish my feet would follow.

I've come down with a terrible case of wander lust. Really, I'm so ready to just GO and experience the world first hand. If I had the funds available, and could speak a bunch of different languages, I would totally take a gap year before college to just GO.    I don't know what it is, but my feet are ready to go.

 It might be "small town syndrome" where after living in a place where everyone knows everyone, you're kinda ready to break loose. All I know for sure is that sometime before I die I will go to the following places. This is my Travel to Ten.

1. Australia/New Zealand.
-I admit it, its the accents:) no, but really, this is one of my top places to visit. Oh, and those cute kangaroos:)

2. Africa
- Not for the exotic animals or any of that, Its for the people. The people there is what I plan to travel there for, especially the impoverished. 

3. England
-I'm a fool for a British accent. And just the history there, its incredible.

4. Ireland
-Why does everywhere, but America have awesome accents? Also I just really want to go see all the AMAZING castles. 

5. NYC
-Broadway is a definate must, along with Time Square and Central Park. I HAVE to go here.

6. Paris, France
-Ah, the city of lights. I really just want to see the louvre, and the Eifel Tower, and the Arc de Triomphe, and well ahh, French accents:)

7. CALIFORNIA

- Sign me up on the next flight to LAX, California is the real sunshine state, sorry to disappoint you Florida.

8. Canada
-I really don't know why, but I just think Canada's pretty freakin' awesome.

9. Israel
- All that history and culture, AWESOME!

10. Rome, Italy
-Really I could just put all of Italy, but I really just want to go to Rome, what can I say I'm a history nut. I love Roman culture!

What's your top ten destinations?


Peace out Girl Scout.
pictures

A Letter to the Future- Ex-Boyfriends.

Dear Future Exes,

Whether you broke my heart or I broke yours, thank you. Though it didn't work out with us I learned something from our relationship. Though I might not see it immediately, I'll be a better person because of you. Thank you. I'm sorry if I'm a rude obnoxious person, thats who I tend to be sometime.

I apologize for my lack of trust, and lack of communication skills, I'm still working on both. I hope with all my heart that you won't hate me after we've gone our separate ways. I hope that we're still friends and can laugh at our mistakes. I hope truly that you got something meaningful out of our time together, whether it be long or short. 


Much Love, 
Tansy


Peace out Girl Scout.
picture

Maybe. Just Maybe I'm the one with the problem.

So maybe I've been going about this the wrong way. Maybe I need to look at this from another perspective. Maybe what I'm doing in my point of view isn't the real thing that I'm doing. Does that make sense.

 I think I need to take a step back, and look at things in an unbiased opinion and decide that I'm not the victim here. Maybe I'm initiating the problem. Maybe I'm missing something. 

So I don't feel like explaining this whole sit-iation, but for the most part I'm in a fight with my friends. I hope you could get that much. It seems really stupid and I think I'm over it, but I think I might have caused some of it. I don't know. I'm just very confuzeled. 


Peace out Girl Scout.
pictures

I just get so frustrated at my "friends" that I don't want to do anything but punch a wall or something. and I just couldn't get past that wall of crap and i finally just breathed, stepped back and asked myself, is it worth my time and effort to fight this fight. And apparently I thought I needed to and where did it get me? No where. No one ever listens to me and I just can't deal with this anymore. I just really can't. Sometimes I just want to scream through the top of my lungs "F you", but I can't. I just can't. I can't. I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't. 


I just can't wait until college. New friends, new life, New everything. Most of the time I'm terrified of change, but now, I need it. I need to rid myself of these poison people and this poison thats ruining my life. I'm done with it.


x

I hate people.

UGHHH! So have you ever tried to tell someone a piece of information, then they blow up on you, well that just happened to me. I keep trying to tell my friend I can't do a study group during the week and it would be better for me to do it on the weekend, but they decided to go completely bonkers and tell me that i'm stupid and crap. I just told them that it would be easier to do it on the weekend or later on the week day, but no. They decide that I just can't be trusted and I'm a bad person. Ah. 


x.

Sometimes Nothing is Really Something.

So this post is a sort of continuation of my last post. After all of that I look back on my "crush"(that seems like so seventh grade, but still) on Wren. I used to think that I made it all up in my head, and that he didn't care for me. Yet as I think about all our conversations, we had something. We had something that made me happy.

I don't know if it was just a friendship, or something more, but whatever it was, its gone now. And somehow, I'm okay with it. I've realized that if God wants something between us, He'll put it there.

Peace out Girl Scout.

picture

Brief is Life, but Love is Long.

So, as I was cleaning my room today I discovered a small journal I used to keep from seventh to eighth grade. Well this journal was full of stupid stuff about a crush I had on this ONE guy for that long. I was a stalker. It was scary.

Anyway, this guy was all I used to think about, and as I read this stupid girls version of what she felt for this guy, I realized, 1. I was a creep and 2. I had better things in my life to worry about than guys. As I came to the last page in this journal I read a entry that I had written my Freshman year, It seems forever ago, I don't even remember writing it. This is what it said.

"So yeah its almost been a year since I wrote in this stupid thing..... I've learned somethings since seventh grade (mostly from God). I shouldn't seek love. I should stumble upon it."

I then go on to talk about a previous boyfriend and say "I didn't go into this relationship head over heels, but I didn't come out of it heart over head. The whole thing was a big awkward mess, but those little, but few sweet things that we shared stuck. It was awkward, so I tried to get out of it. I started a fight out of nothing and broke it off, and put it out of sight, out of mind."

Wow, I was a deep person then.

I then go on to finish the entry by saying.

"I really haven't stopped thinking 'did i do the right thing?".......  "Do I let it go knowing I might have missed out on something great?"

There was a big transition from that seventh grade girl obsessing over some guy she thought she knew, to this older, more self aware girl who knows that everything in life isn't about having a boy friend.

I look back at that journal, and my previous blog posts and realize, that seventh grade girl was there during the summer, and that mature ninth grade girl has made her way back into the picture. I understand now that God knows what is best for me, even when I think something else is better. I know now that God's love is all I need.

Just think, the creator of this glorious universe loves ME. Me of all people who sin and could care less about God during the week, but on Sunday act like He is the only one for me. And He is. He's the only one I could ever need, and I forget that sometimes. Not anymore, never again will I forget that.

Peace out Girl Scout.

pictures

Sunshine on a Cloudy Day.

So I've really been thinking a lot about happiness lately. More than usual and it just so happens I saw this on V's blog, Stars & Chillies and so I went to pastor-girl's blog and i thought it was a cool idea to do, so these are somethings that make me happy:)

-Dancing. I love it. Its definitely my passion, if its in the studio or jammin' out in my red Camry, I love to dance and it just makes me happy on the inside:)

-Church. It just makes me so happy when I go to church, like it really truly does put me in a better mood.

Peace out Girl Scout.

pictures