"The moon and the sun we all come undone"

Secret No. 7: Reality sucks, I'll just go back to daydreaming now, because honestly its better then whats here now.

"I know that she knows that I'm not fond of asking"

Secret No. 6: I hate mixed signals.

Slipping Back to Reality.

It was nice to visit blog. I'll miss you when I'm gone again. School starts in 10 hours, and I'm dreading it. Tonight can't be another sleepless night sorting out my thoughts. 

Its time to go back to tests, school, and teachers, and pressure to make all A's. It's time to go back to drama, and crap, and honestly I'm not ready. This break has done wonders for my mental health, granted it has driven me a little insane, but what's life with out a little insanity?

It's time to go back to crappy food at 12 each day, time to go back to calculus and other crap... I just wish it would be time to go back to love, because honestly. I'd go back for love, but now I'm convinced there's no such thing. 

I have to go back though.. and it sucks.


Peace Out Girl Scout.
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"He Ate My Heart Then He Ate My Brain"

Secret No. 5: I hope you think of me sometimes, or I'd feel pathetic thinking about you all the time.

"Stuck in a Glass Elevator"

Secret No. 4: Though I'll miss it, I want to get out of this town. Now.

Too much, too soon.

So I'd really just like to apologize for my Headfirst into Heartbreak post. The emotions were real, the writing was BAD. It's just I miss my bloggy poo poo. This break has allowed me to blog again, and I'm really glad for it.  

It's the fact that I don't have time to blog when I really need to that frustrates me. My head's spinning, this year is flying by and frankly I don't like it. It really just needs to slow down. 


Peace out Girl Scout.
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"This is my Heart, it's not a Toy"

Secret No. 3: Maybe you're not as perfect as I thought you were. Maybe, just maybe, I'm not as perfect as I think I am either.

Diving Headfirst into Heartbreak

Headfirst. I'm falling headfirst and this time, there's no stopping it. My mind is 90% focused on him, and honestly it shouldn't be. I suck at this. I really do.

 Does he like me? Is this flirting? How do we not get bored after talking for an hour? What does that mean though? My relationship experience is VERY limited. I know, its sad. 

So the other day he said, "Please don't kill yourself next year." Chill guys, I'm not going to kill myself. He just was telling me not to overload myself (which I tend to do very often). 

I'm just confused. I just want to know I can leap and you'll be there to catch me, but I'm not very good at leaping. I might need a push.


Peace out Girl Scout
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"I Saw Your Face in a Crowded Place"

Secret No. 2: I only bought this jacket because it reminds me of the one you have.

"Don't You Know Who You Think I Am?"

Secret No. 1: I'm not who you think I am.

To Be Thankful

Maybe everyday should be Thanksgiving day, because in reality, we should be thankful for so much.

I have a bed to sleep in, food to eat, clothes to put on my back, friends that make me laugh until I cry, family like no other, and what do I always do? complain. I promise you I complain more than anyone else on the planet, but honestly I have nothing to complain about.

There are seriously kids in Africa who have been TAKEN from their homes, forced to KILL their parents, taught how to VIOLENTLY MURDER their peers, and are exposed to DEATH more than I will ever have seen. Yet, I still complain.

Those kids, those sweet Ugandan kids, are honestly more thankful than I am. They're thankful for their single blanket, their sip of water, their shack, their brothers and sisters that aren't dead. 

Yet I'm not thankful for my laptop, my computer, my freewill, and I need to fix this. Now. As I sat around talking with my family at thanksgiving lunch, about nothing real important, I realized, I've got it pretty good. No more complaining, no more whining, no more "I want this, I want that," but more "wow, I'm glad I have this, and man I'm sure lucky,"


Happy Thanksgiving
xoxo
Tansy
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Its Hard Being the "Good Girl"

So, most people know at my school, I'm not a bad kid. Its a fact. I literally shy away from "bad" stuff. I'm absolutely clueless when it comes to getting drunk and high. The fact of the matter is, I'm a goody two-shoes, and I'm okay with that. 

Its just, if you've ever been in high school, you know about peer pressure. Unless you were like magically gifted and have friends that never do anything bad. Well I'm not so lucky to have that pleasure. 

I've had this blog post started for days now, and I just don't understand how to finish it. I guess I just want to explain my decisions. Its not like I hate people who chose to go out and get drunk Saturday night, then regret it all on Sunday. Its just, thats not my choice. It doesn't make you cooler than me, all it does is makes you drunk.

Its just. I don't need to get drunk to have fun. People get drunk, and do things people normally wouldn't do if sober, and "have fun," but obviously I'm not like that. I do things that people wouldn't do normally on an everyday basis, and I have fun. All the time. I don't need a beer or a joint to do something stupid.

If I'm going to make an ass out of my self, I'm going to do it when I'm sober, not when I'm not going to remember it the next day. If I have something to say, I'm going to say it anyway, it doesn't matter what it is.

 Maybe people get drunk because they just aren't as okay with themselves as I am. Maybe they use getting drunk as their excuse to act stupid. I have the courage to live my life, as I want to live it.I live life drunk. I get drunk off of life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. That's why I'm straight-edge, and nothing is going to change that. Try all you might peers, but your pressuring me just might make me cut you, cause I'm a sharp, straight-edge.


Peace Out Girl Scout.
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Geek Out Moment

So if you're a Harry Potter Fan, This is your post.


I'm obcessed. I'm a nerd. I love Harry Freaking Potter! 


Going to the midnight showing. 


So pumped.


Peace. and Long Live Dumbledore! 


xo
Tansy

Leftovers.

So a while back I became acquainted with a pleasant young fellow. To be frank I was quite smitten with him. We talked and conversed quite regularly. It wasn't until like a month ago, he liked me to, but I ruined it. 

For about a month I've just been head over heels for him, and it just wasn't working, until tonight I didn't realize that what happened happened, and its not going to happen again.

Though it would be nice to have a relationship, I don't have the time. With college apps taking up most of my time, SAT study time, ACT study time, and normal AP study time. I'm bogged down. 

I've learned I need to live for the moment. Live for today, and have no regrets. I enjoyed the time I spent with him, but it ended. I regret nothing. 

Living on the edge doesn't mean taking risks, it means living knowing that tomorrow might not come, and being okay with that. I've learned that I don't need some guy to be happy. I need to just LIVE. 

Besides, come May, we'd have to break it off any way, and I don't want to have to go through that. Meanwhile there are other relationships that I'd like to work on. Like the one with the all mighty God. I've been so busy I've left Him at the wayside and I'm giving Him my left over time. He deserves ALL my time, not just the left overs.


Peace Out Girl Scout.
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ME > YOU.

So the Sad new is, Letters to the Future as well as Top Ten Thursdays are canceled. This blog is for ME. Not YOU, and those things were for YOU not ME. Yeah, I'm self absorbed, because sometimes it is about Me, not often but sometimes it is and this blog is really for me. 

For me and me only, if you're reading this it means that A.)  you find yourself to be in the same can of worms as myself, B.) You like the pretty pictures I post, or C.) you sincerely care for my well being. And all of those reasons are GRAND, but this blog isn't for YOU its for ME. 

And I'm okay with that. This blog is supposed to help me find out who I am as an individual, and I LOVE that you read my blog, I truly truly do, but if you didn't read it I wouldn't be upset. I really love having blogger friends and followers, but right now I just need to focus on ME not trying to please the whole internet.

Adiós

Peace Out Girl Scout.
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