It was really nice to meet you, goodbye.

I don't like leaving. I don't like it. Not one bit. I hate that my friends are going to be scattered across the south, I hate that I never had with him what I wish I did. I hate becoming super close to someone this year, then leaving now. I hate graduation, I hate finding out other people are leaving. I can't stand hearing, "this is the last." 

I know I'm in denial. I scream and close my ears when anyone says something about leaving or graduation or college. I can't help it. I've known this place for all my life, I've known these people forever. How can I let them go?

I know that it's pretty ridiculous of me to say, that I have to let them go, because they're going whether I like it or not. I just hope they know how thankful I am to have them in my life. How grateful I truly am to have known them and to laugh, and cry, and sing, and dance, and explore, and create, and experience, with them. 

Maybe our stories don't end here, but it sure feels like it. I hope it doesn't, but if it has to I hope that every moment we spent all together will not be forgotten. I know it will be, and that's okay, what I really want all of us to remember is how much fun we had, and how we were each other's strong holds; that we were there for each other. 

This is my last blog post. It seems appropriate. I'm leaving high school behind, I want to leave the girl who all she cared about was whether she needed a boyfriend or not behind. I'll still pop in, look at my posts, reflect about who I was and who I was becoming. 

I guess you could say I found myself. It wasn't what I expected. I didn't find out what I wanted to be in life, I didn't find my social circle, but I found my potential. I learned I have something inside of me that's great. I learned that life isn't just what I see from my viewfinder. It's that I have to take away that blue plastic toy and learn that there is a whole world out there ready for me to experience.

I want to thank everyone who reads this. Who has supported me with kind words, who's put up with my mindless rants. I truly appreciate you. You've made an impact on my life, and I hope I've impacted yours too. 


Much much love,
Tansy.

To Be Thankful

Maybe everyday should be Thanksgiving day, because in reality, we should be thankful for so much.

I have a bed to sleep in, food to eat, clothes to put on my back, friends that make me laugh until I cry, family like no other, and what do I always do? complain. I promise you I complain more than anyone else on the planet, but honestly I have nothing to complain about.

There are seriously kids in Africa who have been TAKEN from their homes, forced to KILL their parents, taught how to VIOLENTLY MURDER their peers, and are exposed to DEATH more than I will ever have seen. Yet, I still complain.

Those kids, those sweet Ugandan kids, are honestly more thankful than I am. They're thankful for their single blanket, their sip of water, their shack, their brothers and sisters that aren't dead. 

Yet I'm not thankful for my laptop, my computer, my freewill, and I need to fix this. Now. As I sat around talking with my family at thanksgiving lunch, about nothing real important, I realized, I've got it pretty good. No more complaining, no more whining, no more "I want this, I want that," but more "wow, I'm glad I have this, and man I'm sure lucky,"


Happy Thanksgiving
xoxo
Tansy
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Look before you Leap

Up late again blogging... sigh. So I would like to thank V from Starts and Chilies for awarding me her blog of the week. I feel so honored after only blogging for like two days. Check her out she's got some awesome recipies I'm dying to try and the way she talks about God is incredible. But anywho. The real reason I'm righting is because I think I'm going outside my comfort zone. So to understand what I'm about to say you need to read my last post. So read it? Good. So now even though I do the same thing over and over again I think I like this guy. And I have talked to him one on one like once. like we've talked more than that, but its been about classes and stuff. I don't know. ugh. I just don't want to leap before i look and make sure someone's there to catch me.

Most of all I want to be able to leap and me catch myself. I'm not much of a... go for it person. Do you know what I'm saying? I can't just...gasp...talk to him. Its just. I think I'm too self conscious. Ha. Maybe I'm worried he'll judge me. So I get these crushes who I like for YEARS and I never talk to them. And I've talked to this guy. A lot. And I thought he liked me, but now he won't answer his phone. Facebook chat. or anything and Its not like I send him a message every five seconds. Some days I make myself promise not to talk to him. Not to say anything to him. He's been there for me. He seems honestly concerned for me. Would we make better friends. Ugh. I feel like this is a diary. Well it kinda is. I originally started a diary for this, but I couldn't make the words flow. So this is kinda my diary, and I'm letting random strangers look into it. Ah. I kinda went off subject there for a minute. Oh. Well. I think I'm finnished. If you have an advise for me don't feel shy to "share the love" so to speak

Peace out Girl Scout.

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