It was really nice to meet you, goodbye.

I don't like leaving. I don't like it. Not one bit. I hate that my friends are going to be scattered across the south, I hate that I never had with him what I wish I did. I hate becoming super close to someone this year, then leaving now. I hate graduation, I hate finding out other people are leaving. I can't stand hearing, "this is the last." 

I know I'm in denial. I scream and close my ears when anyone says something about leaving or graduation or college. I can't help it. I've known this place for all my life, I've known these people forever. How can I let them go?

I know that it's pretty ridiculous of me to say, that I have to let them go, because they're going whether I like it or not. I just hope they know how thankful I am to have them in my life. How grateful I truly am to have known them and to laugh, and cry, and sing, and dance, and explore, and create, and experience, with them. 

Maybe our stories don't end here, but it sure feels like it. I hope it doesn't, but if it has to I hope that every moment we spent all together will not be forgotten. I know it will be, and that's okay, what I really want all of us to remember is how much fun we had, and how we were each other's strong holds; that we were there for each other. 

This is my last blog post. It seems appropriate. I'm leaving high school behind, I want to leave the girl who all she cared about was whether she needed a boyfriend or not behind. I'll still pop in, look at my posts, reflect about who I was and who I was becoming. 

I guess you could say I found myself. It wasn't what I expected. I didn't find out what I wanted to be in life, I didn't find my social circle, but I found my potential. I learned I have something inside of me that's great. I learned that life isn't just what I see from my viewfinder. It's that I have to take away that blue plastic toy and learn that there is a whole world out there ready for me to experience.

I want to thank everyone who reads this. Who has supported me with kind words, who's put up with my mindless rants. I truly appreciate you. You've made an impact on my life, and I hope I've impacted yours too. 


Much much love,
Tansy.

Just Dance.

I have had what you might call a blogging FAIL. The last time I really posted was in like 18 days ago. I feel stupid. I love blogging. It keeps my head on straight. When I blog I feel energized and excited and just plain happy. I need some happy in my life. I will never again go more than a week with out blogging. Granted it will probably be only once a week when school starts back, but I will, nay must blog.

Blogging clears my mind of everything. Its my creative outlet. Well this and dance. I love to dance:) Some people run, swim, eat, drink, smoke, or even sleep(what i've been doing(sad face)) to clear their mind. Me, I blog, and dance. Mostly dance.

Dancing is my outward expression of happiness:), but I don't only dance when I'm happy. I dance when:

I'm bored

I'm sick

I'm silly

I'm excited

Dancing just makes me feel good inside.

I blog when;

I'm sad

I'm lonely

I'm hurt

I'm angry.

I think I've found the two things I'm good at are the two things that I love to do the most.

and this brings me back to the purpose of this blog. To find myself. Or create myself. Before Taylor asked me to help her, I never even thought of blogging. Now I've realized that the simple idea of this blog, to find who I am, has helped me more than anything. I've found more of me than I ever could have before. Needless to say, I'm ecstatic.

Peace out Girl Scout.

pictures

3 is the Magic Number.

So I've done it. Yes shy little Tansy S. has done it!! I have made plans with Wren! Well not really. Well kinda. I'm giving him some notes on a class I took this past year and he's taking this year, but still we have plans to meet in a parking lot!! Yeah, sketchy right, but no it's not! Thats were everyone meets down here! So in my mind it can go three different ways.

Scenario 1: We meet at 2 in the parking lot, I give him the notes. We both leave. I would be fine with this situation because thats all that was planned. This is what I expect to happen.

Scenario 2: We meet at 2 in the parking lot, I give him the notes. We start talking, are cars would be facing each other and we would both be sitting on our hoods. We would talk for an hour. He would ask me to go grab something to eat with him. I would jump in his car, and we would ride of into the sunset with him on the way to McDonald's or something.(I'm hungry okay).

This is the least likely scenario considering its 2 in the afternoon, and we would have to be talking for like 5 hours. This would be my hope and dream. I would actually get to spend time with him, but it probably won't happen.

Scenario 3: I would arrive at the parking lot at 1:45. I would wait in my hot car, with Lady Ga Ga busting out the speakers. It would be 2. I would turn down the radio and stop dancing like a fool. I keep waiting. 2:18 I would send him a text and ask him if he died. 2:30. No reply. I decide to get brave and call him because we all know how I hate to talk on the phone. 2:31. Voicemail. I say to myself, he probably just got stuck in traffic.

2:32. I realize there isn't any traffic at 2 in the afternoon. 2:40. I send the tenth text message asking him where he is. 3:00. I admit defeat. I was stood up. In a parking lot. At 2 in the afternoon. With AP US History notes in the passenger side of my car. I am a loser. This is worst case scenario. I would then proceed to cry until 3:30. And boohoo all the way home. This scenario would happen after scenario 1, and way before scenario 2. I would have failed.

Stay tuned, remember this is going to be like a Stream of Posts(like Faulkner's stream of consciousness). Don't read "Don't Go with the Flow" if you don't want to be extremely disgusted.

Peace out Girl Scout.

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